All of last year I was in a rush. A rush to make things happen. A rush to make money. A rush to stand out in the world. A rush to look successful.
That rush not only broke me totally down emotionally but didn’t leave me conquering much of anything. It was disheartening and annoying. And I was most mad at myself. Mad that I couldn’t just make everything happen the moment I wanted it all to happen. Mad that my investments weren’t panning out the way I’d planned.
I’d hired a business coach back at the end of 2016 because that’s when my initial impatient breakdown happened. Irritated and upset that I wasn’t getting anywhere (later to realize I hadn’t even offered anything for people to buy), I invested heavily in an online coach to guide me to the next level in entrepreneurship online. I felt that this was my path to financial freedom, my road to incredible success.
I was a diligent student in that six-month course, ready to make anything happen. Until half-way through I started paying more attention to what the other students were saying. It was a resounding message of impatience. “How do I get thousands more followers this week?” “How do I get my first high paying client for this stuff that I just learned last month?” “I need to hire the most high-end services that make me look professional because then people will buy.” “Nothing is happening for me yet and I’ve had my website up for a month.”
Honestly, it was crazy talk but became normal. It was normal to hear the coach talk though peoples’ impatience by telling them to up their prices and find a client somewhere, anywhere, even if they just learned what they should tell clients. In my opinion, a lot of the people in this program needed time to figure out what they really wanted to do and discover where they were meant to be, and work through their emotions, before coaching others! I don’t say that in a bad way, I say it because we all should be doing that, as it’s an important step to self-discovery before telling others what to do.
Is it so crazy for me to say that people who aren’t even sure what they want to do with life shouldn’t be life coaching? Just like people in a relationship where all they do is fight, shouldn’t give relationship advice. Very simple.
So there I was, in the middle of my heavy investment, battling with what I was even doing now! It was about that time that GaryVee reentered my life; a guy I’d heard once before and thought he wasn’t my style, suddenly he was speaking right to me.
“Hustle and have patience” he would say repeatedly. I wasn’t interested in the phrase at first, but the more and more I listened to him say it, yell it, yell it in people’s faces ha, I started listening. I started to realize that if I’d had patience all along, I wouldn’t have needed any of this coaching. Sidenote: I did enjoy the mindset portion of the coaching which was a concept I was unaware of, but I’m speaking of the rest.
I’d love to say that poof! Patience entered my life and I became smarter, but for some reason, that didn’t happen. Mainly contributed to the people I was now surrounding myself with (the people in the coaching program, all of the coaching ads on Facebook, the millions of biz people I was told to follow, etc.) Everyone was telling me that they could grow my e-mail list, make me Instagram famous, get me 10 clients next week. Honestly, it was EXHAUSTING. I tried to attend every seminar I saw. Tried to use all the tactics when I would remember them. I needed things to HAPPEN yesterday.
By the end of the year, I was burnt out on online coaches and people who said they would help, mad that I felt like I’d wasted a ton of money, and unhappy with the way things were progressing (or more like weren’t.) I broke down. Don’t ask my boyfriend. He will be obligated to be nice about how I acted, but I was a mess. I was also on a cleanse, and someone told me recently that those mess with your emotions, so I’m trying to attribute some of my disaster-sesh’s to that.
Greg didn’t say much at the times when I expressed my frustration. He’s a good listener like that. But he did often say, “Haley, you’ve only been working on this what, a half year? What did you expect?” What did I expect you ask? Well I expected a bank account overflowing. I expected a beautiful cabin in the woods to call mine. I expected to be a world-renowned artist by now. I expected to not have a worry in the world. Oh. My. Gosh. I hope you’re laughing. Can you even take me seriously anymore? At least I have big aspirations, right?! HA!
Maybe you’re laughing, but can you relate? I’m willing to bet you’re expecting a heck-of-a-lot out of yourself right now too, and most likely if you wrote it out or told someone they would be like, be easier on yourself and give yourself some time!
And so that’s 2018 for me. My patience is at an all-time-high and I’ve never felt better. My goals are more focused. I’m deleting 95% of any emails telling me to grow my list faster, and unsubscribing from most as well. Some days I’m worried maybe I’ll get behind by doing this, but believe me when I say: the less I let others tell me what I need to do, the more I can focus on what I actually need to do.
Thanks for listening, I appreciate you and your patience for letting me get this all out!
Have the best day ever!!!
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