Summary::
Often I find myself in new situations, talking to new people, and I can’t say it’s always been easy for me. Talking to new or unfamiliar people can often be intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be.
“Every Stranger comes with an Opportunity…to learn something new or hear a story that you’ve never heard before.”
Today I’m discussing some tips on how to be confident when you find yourself in new situations with people. So let’s get started on some areas you can work on today.
- Put yourself on the same playing field
Do not go into a conversation thinking you are less valuable or knowledgeable than the next person. Maybe they have more experience in a particular subject you admire them in, but I’m willing to bet you have some talents they don’t possess. So don’t count yourself out before a convo is even struck up. Because who knows, they might be thinking the same way and be intimidated by you!
- Don’t be afraid to discuss a vulnerable subject.
I once heard Tim Ferriss say that prior to his podcast interviews he helps the guest feel relaxed by telling a vulnerable story about himself. This not only lowers the intimidation factor, but also invited people to share stories about themselves that are deeper that what you may get otherwise.
- Skip the small talk.
What’s the question you get asked most often? Probably “Where do you work?” Which is fine, but often if their line of work doesn’t benefit or interest you in some way, the conversation is already going downhill. Here in Jackson, it’s a bit more unique, because yes, you get the work question, but just as often you get asked about the latest adventure you’ve been on. And I’ve really come to appreciate that. So think about diving into people’s hobbies and interests before their workplace (unless the two coincide) and watch as they light up telling you stories.
- Make an effort to find commonalities.
This is one of the main things I try to do, and it’s easier than you think. I posted a photo of Pad Thai on Instagram yesterday (because I’m obsessed) and an old roommate of mine commented that she wished we were closer now because she could eat it every day too. So, it can be silly or more serious, like an issue you agree on. And you never know what projects could be born out commonality!
- Be positive.
How awful is it to have a negative person jabbering in your ear? Seriously, can all the Debby Downers please step down from their pedestal?! As hard as I’ve tried to stick with positive people, there have been many times throughout my life where I’ve had to grin a bear a Negative Nancy. And you know it’s not fun and I know it’s not fun. So don’t be that person. It’s okay to have a serious heart to heart about an issue in your life, or talk about a problem you’re dealing with, but don’t overdo it or tell every stranger you see. People have enough setbacks in their own lives and a little positivity can go a long way for them (and yourself!).
- Give unique compliments.
The more compliments, the better! If it’s simple, totally fine, if it’s unique, even better! Someone recently gave me the compliment that she felt each podcast was getting better. I really enjoyed that because she could have simply told me she enjoyed them, but now I know she sees a visible difference, which is exactly what I’m working to achieve. So take people’s passions into account and try to compliment them where it means the most.
- Listen to hear, not to reply.
Listen, listen, listen! I’m sure you’ve heard this one a lot, but it’s important. I’ve learned this the most within my relationship during disagreements. Where I used to interupt to give my point, I know listen to the entire store (or at least try to) before adding my two cents. It’s not always easy, but the other person will feel more heard and appreciated if you stop trying to overtake their stories with your own.
- Don’t be manipulative.
We all know the people. The ones that want to chat when you can offer them something, but don’t give you the time of day if you see them elsewhere. It’s the worst feeling, so don’t be that person. Treat everyone the same. At the end of the day, maybe it’s that person you ignored that could have given you the job offer of a lifetime.
- Try to learn from every person you interact with.
Old, young, different….you can learn SO much by interacting with people you normally wouldn’t. So even if someone believes something way different than you, or you feel that you can hardly relate to them, at the end of the conversation give yourself a second to think about one thing you learned by talking with them.
Every INTERACTION is an opportunity to learn. Only if we are interested in IMPROVING, rather than PROVING.
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