034: Are Distractions Controlling your Time?
Summary::
Hi you guys!
Recently I was challenged to creating an hour-by-hour calendar for me life. If you know me at all, you know planning was never really my forte. I’ve come to know planning as meaning boring. My best friend growing up lived by plans, and I always thought that took the fun out of everything. But now I see that maybe she was onto something because…
I LOVE MY GOOGLE CALENDAR.
I almost feel like a traitor saying that out loud. So, don’t tell anyone. But let me tell you, it has made my entrepreneur lifestyle go from all over the place and stressful to perfectly lined up (almost).
But this didn’t come easy. I was super resistant to the idea. I thought maybe I would just buy cute post-its and that would be a good step. And then I got a trendy weekly planner that had bubbles I can check off. Fun!! When someone mentioned the idea of planning hour by hour, I think I almost had a panic attack for them. Plan out your whole day?! What if something fun comes up? What if something more important comes up? What if…actually you know what, I can’t think of many what-ifs because my freakout was all in my head from years of thinking planning is lame and for the non-spontaneous.
However, I’ve learned that anything I have a lot of resistance to is totally something to be explored more. Think about something in your life you have resistance around…do you even know why you are so resistant to it? If you dig deeper, it may be way different that you expected. Journal on it today!
Continuing on. I started a Google Calendar. Actually, I started iCal first, which was meh. It didn’t really do it for me. Personal preference I suppose. But when my visual self saw that Google offers colored hour blocks for the day, I was ready to dive in. Well, for a week trial. Except, I’m almost embarrassed to admit, before the first day was over, I was hooked. HOOKED! And now, I’m not exactly sure how I ever expected to be productive when I was leaving my days open so that anything could happen.
So, my first piece of advice is to try out a calendar system. What system you prefer doesn’t matter. What does matter is you being able to accomplish of those little things that keep getting missed on your post-it to-do list? Please try out a calendar system, I want to see you take control of your time, and you’ll find you have more than expected!
Okay so onto my real finding. As I kept going a few days with my calendar, I was able to evaluate what was working, what wasn’t, where I need to block more time, and why I wasn’t getting some things done when I should. What I found isn’t some great revelation, but if I had to guess, I’m sure you might be right there with me.
DISTRACTIONS.
I quickly saw that my procrastination takes place in the form of distractions. I sit down to draw and get up way too many times to make a drink or fix myself something to eat. I sit down to create a newsletter and get lost in my email instead. I block out time to read and, seriously every day, found odds and ends more important to do, and I even like to read.
What kinds of distractions are taking away from your productivity? If you don’t know, check in with your calendar in a week.
So once we know about our personal distractions, what do we do? I’ve laid out 5 easy steps to removing them and they are:
1.Add Whitespace in your Calendar
By this, I mean add in blank areas to your schedule. Maybe something will run longer and you’ll need the time, otherwise, it’s always good to allow a bit of a transition period for your brain to jump activities. If nothing else, in this time, take a walk, stretch, and rehydrate.
2. Hire a VA to do what you don’t want to.
Recognize when you continue to procrastinate on something and decide if it’s really worth your time. I recently noticed I was putting off some important research, and decided to hire a Virtual Assistant to research for me.
3. Do your most important things first
It’s no secret we often lag in energy as the day goes on. Get those important things done right away while you have max energy and brain power and aren’t looking for ways to get out of it.
4. Turn off notifications
Are you guilty of allowing your phone to control what you do? Take away some of Facebook’s power by first, getting rid of those ridiculous notifications on your lock screen. Not cool, sorry:) Or better yet, turn your phone on silent and don’t look at it during periods where you should be focusing on yourself, not whoever wants to contact you.
5. Savor the work you’re doing
Be proud of what you are doing and give yourself permission to go all in.Feel it, know what it’s leading towards, and breathe it in.
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033: Are your Fears Actually your Greatest Desires?
Summary::
Hey my favorite listeners, I hope you are having a fantastic beginning to Winter as I am! The snow is falling here in Jackson, as a matter of fact we are almost up to 200 inches for the season already!! It makes for rough driving but SUCH a beautiful atmosphere.
So on the note of the changing of seasons, I always feel that each new season is the perfect time for incorporating new ideas or things in my life. In the summer this usually means adding in more adventures for myself, the fall might mean more travels. This past fall was, no doubt, my most traveled season yet. I was able to visit a few new states like Vermont, North Dakota, and Hawaii, and also revisit Singapore, Thailand, and Germany, while adding in a few new countries like The Netherlands, Belgium, and France. The more I travel, the more I realize how important I think it is in order to relate to more people in the world. That’s a topic for another podcast, but I hope if any travels come along this holiday season, you’ll jump on them!
So back to this new Winter season.
What does Winter bring up for you? Maybe it’s a time to stay cozy inside and forget about doing anything strenuous for a while. And you might think I’d give you a bunch of suggestions to fight that. But not today.
Today we’re talking fear, and you can conquer a lot of those from under your blanket, believe it or not.
Right. You don’t have to go jump out of an airplane, or swim with sharks, or sing a solo in front of a huge crowd…quite yet.
When I began diving into fear, I was thinking it would take me a different direction too. I was looking at everything in a tangible way. For instance, one of my fears was that I fear I won’t ever be able to get to where I want to be because I won’t have enough time and energy. I felt stuck because I couldn’t really see a way how to add more time to my day, or more energy as I already thought I was eating well and such. Another fear I’ve always had is whether I will be able to pay rent in the future. I’ve always had this fear, no matter if I was making wayyy more than my rent or hardly enough. I figured it would just always be a fear because being an entrepreneur, my income is always fluctuating and hard to predict.
I’m thinking you probably have some similar fears of your own? Maybe that you’ll never lose that weight you want to, especially with the holidays coming up. Or that you’ll never be able to do the work you really feel passionate about because there’s just too much else going on in your life to make that switch.
Believe it or not, those fears can be changed today. Yes, even if there’s a Christmas movie playing in front of you.
After looking further into all of my fears, I was astounded to realize that everything I had fear around was actually what I want the most. Basically, I was blanketing my most desired things with fear.
When I was held back by my time and energy, it was fear of the process. What’s the process? Scheduling my time on a calendar, eliminating jobs that aren’t serving me, and getting to bed and waking up at specific times. Those things are what I truly want in my life to create a schedule I feel good about and can get maximum work done.
And my other fear I mentioned about paying monthly rent, I was held back by the idea that there someday won’t be enough money coming into me. Fear of Loss. What I didn’t take into account (or forgot to remind myself) was that I can create as many ways of funding as I want. As an artist, I have the ability to take on more, or less, clients monthly, and living in a town like Jackson, I am able to pick up an extra job anytime if I really needed to. And honestly, if I sat down with a list and wrote out additional ways to create money for bills and rent each month, I couldn’t probably fill a page. Doing the work I truly want to do is what I really want and I was turning that around into this negative idea of not enough money.
Some others I turned around were:
- going from fear of getting sick and getting behind… to the joy of eating healthy, exercising, and having health insurance.
- getting too busy with too many hobbies and business things…. to removing limits and knowing I can have a successful business while pursuing other fun endeavors.
- thinking what if I’m wasting a lot of time creating things no one is interested in…. to being proud of my work, speaking about what I’m passionate about, and attracting like-minded people.
As you can see, you can easily AND quickly turn your fears into motivating thoughts. Don’t let those negative thoughts create delays for your life! Where is there a fear in your life that is holding you back? Work on turning it around and looking at all of the possibilities instead.
In the meantime, there’s been a quote going around a lot of the women I’ve been chatting with lately, and it’s “Fear the fear, but do it anyway.”
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032: I Believe…
Summary::
During the holidays, we often are bombarded with people saying how busy they are and advertisements reminding us how stressful they are. I mean, when’s the last time you’ve heard someone talk about December being the month of relaxing holidays? Ha!
I absolutely love Christmas, and if I had my choice, it would last all year. Orange Cinnamon spiced candles, flurries of snow outside while I watch cheesy Lifetime Christmas movies inside, wrapping presents and lots of festive parties. When I think of Christmas, I think happy, so I recently got wondering when this whole “stress and strife” mentality began to take over and if we are all making it up, or what?
There’s an article I recently read in Huff Post that touched on how our beliefs become true. What’s that mean? It means that whether or not something is truth, we can actually believe it into being true in our own minds.
For example, for a long time I believed that I wasn’t a good ski instructor and because of that always felt like I was sort of faking it during lessons and didn’t want people to watch me. Why did I think that? Probably because compared to most instructors, I was a bit of a newbie and didn’t know all of the terminology or the runs that everyone else did. What I failed to take into account was that the majority of my lessons were with little kiddos with disabilities who just wanted to have fun in the snow. Knowing all of the technical names and expert runs wouldn’t have helped me anyways. I spent years feeling less-than for no reason.
This article I mentioned touches on some pointers that go along with this idea, like:
- Our daily lives are the result of what we tell ourselves about life.
- Life will be as wonderful or as terrible as we believe it is.
- Our attitudes develop out of the thoughts we choose to think.
- Whether our self-talk is positive or negative indicates what we believe about ourselves.
- Our beliefs are constantly motivated by love or fear. And love is causing us to thrive, while fear is beating us up.
- Changing our beliefs is as simple as changing our dominant thoughts.
So going back to the example I mentioned, had I repeatedly told myself that I was a good skier (not the best of course, but certainly proficient), I couldn’t let go of those less-than thoughts I’d conjured in my head. After all, no one had ever told me I was a bad instructor, so I had obviously made up a whole narrative in my head that stuck with me for years.
Maybe you’re in a position where you feel like a fraud or that you aren’t good enough for it. I want to challenge you to think about where this idea is stemming from.
Did someone tell you 20 years ago that you weren’t doing it right? Well I’m sure you’ve become in expert since then! Or are you like me and you’ve been making up a story in your mind for years that is causing you to be less-than who you truly are. If that’s the case, figure out where it’s stemming from and realize it’s most likely not real, and rewire that thinking.
Or maybe when you look around right now, you see what others doing and how they are feeling and think you must feel that way too, like the stressed out Holiday faces around you. In the moment that you feel overwhelm, think back to these examples I gave you.
- Our attitudes develop out of the thoughts we choose to think.
- Life will be as wonderful or as terrible as we believe it is.
This Christmas season can be amazing! I believe it will be and I’m going to take that belief and dance in the snow for the rest of the month. I hope you’ll join me!
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031: How to Actually Achieve Big Goals
Summary::
Each year, for the past few years, I’ve created a goal list. A pretty one. 10 goals long, all nice and tidy tucked inside my journal. Because that’s a smart place for goals to stay, right?
I laugh now, but I honestly never gave a thought to where my goals were written or kept. I would just be happy at the end of the year, when I flipped back to them, to see that I may have accomplished a few. As an example, I have my goals lists from the last five years sitting in front of me. I actually didn’t even know I had all of these in this journal, so it was really interesting looking at and comparing what they had to say.
What I found really wasn’t that surprising. Although I had checked off some goals, more in recent years, I have a list of goals that have been the exact same for FIVE YEARS RUNNING. The exact same.
Volunteer my time, learn a new language, start a bible study, work for or organize an international social organization, sell my art, make 10 grand in savings, learn a new skill, get better at cooking, have a gorgeous home interior, maintain good relationships.
Those sound like great goals right? Yeah, I thought so too…for the past five years apparently.
The issue here is that I wrote down those big dreams, shut my notebook, and just expected them to come to fruition somehow. Did I just expect someone to come up to me and tell me how to start an international organization? I guess so. Did I just think one day I would just begin learning Spanish? Apparently. Did I just think 10 grand would land in my bank account when I was saving way less than enough to make that possible each month? Goodness.
It’s taken me five years to realize that this isn’t how goals get accomplished, and I’m sharing this with you so that you can get going on checking off your goal list ASAP! Please do not be like me and write your goals in a notebook that say “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” Yes, mine really says that. All this time I thought I was being true to that notebook, filling it with ideas and dreams….except I never gave life to most of them.
So what should I have done?
Easy. Take those goals and break them down. If you’re like me and you want to be a better cook, writing that you want to cook more excellent will NOT make you a better cook. What will? Breaking it down. For example: create one new 5 ingredient recipe each week. That’s doable, right? Read Tim Ferriss’s Four Hour Chef. Also doable as an amateur chef. And if you’re really into it, find a class near you and take a cooking class. All of those things could easily be done within one month, if not a week.
The same goes for my other goals. If I want to have a certain amount of money in my savings by the end of the year, all that requires is a simple plan of how much I need to add per paycheck, and ideally, setting up direct deposit would be part of that goal. How good would it feel to get to the end of the year and see all of that extra money sitting there?! I know. Amazing.
What I’ve also done recently is break my goals up into 3-month, 6-month, and year-long goals. This makes them seem way more achievable and less intimidating. I also have fewer to concentrate on at one time and am able to really focus on bringing those goals to fruition within the time frame.
And lastly, I read my goals out loud to myself each day, so that first off, I remember what they are, and secondly, I’m affirming them. For instance, one of my goals is to get a nicer camera. So, instead of simply saying, I want a camera, I say, I will have a white Canon EOS Rebel Camera by February 1st. That sounds so much stronger, right?
So take your goal list this week (or make one if you don’t have one), and break down your goals – into smaller tasks and shorter timeframes. What small step can you take today? Even if it’s just researching a workout class, or creating a Pinterest inspiration board, do it! Then celebrate the small achievements that you make along the way. Before you know it, you’ll be accomplishing that goal list you have, and adding bigger and better things to it!
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030: Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positivity
Summary::
What do you think about during the day? If you’re anything like me, your mind is constantly racing with things to do, expectations you need to fulfill, new ideas you want to implement in your life to get to where you want to do.
I never thought much of my thoughts, but for the past few months, I did realize that I was getting more headaches and taking shallow breaths. I wasn’t really sure why and contributed them to possibly doing too much, filling my days too full, etc. which made me a bit scared at the idea of continuing to progress this podcast into more and more because I don’t want to completely wear myself down.
However…
This past week I did an exercise that I’ve never heard of before. I recorded all of my thoughts for 3 days straight. And what happened? It ended up being one of the most eye-opening activities I’ve ever done.
Okay, first off, I think I’m a positive person. And I am. But then the things I was writing down were 90% negative. I was literally saturating my mind with negative thoughts that I had no idea were happening. Things like: “I shouldn’t be watching a movie, I should be working more” and “that was dumb to stay up so late” and “I don’t want to talk to her” and “what if those people don’t like what I said” and “I don’t have enough money to do that” and on and on and on. After two days of this I was literally bewildered by what was coming out of my mind and almost embarrassed to write it down on paper.
My mind was a constant circle of negativity, with a dash of positive, thoughts. My breakthrough came when I realized I was internalizing these things and thought they didn’t matter because they’re kept inside my mind. EXCEP T, they had a huge effect on what I tell myself on the daily, how I was feeling, and the amount of energy I was able to generate.
To be completely honest, these were my 4 notes on how I was mentally beating myself up daily:
-I nag and won’t give myself a break, and if I do, I beat myself up about it.
-I’m really hard on other people, even when they are being harmless.
-I have huge expectations that are often unnecessary.
-Instead of being grateful, I often look at what’s lacking.
Do any of these ring a bell? Maybe you realize your thoughts aren’t exactly benefitting you (or others) either.
I realized if I would stop with my negative self-talk:
-I can be seriously grateful and be cheering myself on constantly.
-I can conquer tasks that aren’t as fun immediately, thus creating an abundance of space and time to thrive at what I’m good at.
-I can look at others with love and constantly be excited about their accomplishments.
Willie Nelson got it right when he said,
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
I am quite amazed that I never before realized I can create the exact thoughts I want to think. Now, instead of letting thoughts come into my head and create whatever story they wanted to,I can recognize my fears and worries and classify them as not helpful, clear them out of my mind, and refresh my mind with positive messages that generate more positive energy. My past fears will become my new accomplishments, and my daily worries will be turned around into possibilities and things that WILL happen.
Remember that thoughts become things and you can think your way to victory by not being stopped by negative messages or upper limits you put on myself. I would love for you to try this activity so you can see what thoughts are working for you and what isn’t, and definitely let me know what you find out!
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029: Set Big Goals, but Celebrate Today
Summary::
I find myself celebrating the little things more and more lately. Finished a painting? Fancy latte time. Accomplished a hard hike? That calls for a glass of vino. Joined a program? Definitely time for my favorite pastry. Now that I think about it, I might want to get myself rewards other than treats haha!
Okay so back up. I used to feel guilty about my small celebrations, like I wasn’t worthy of feeling good about my project until I accomplished the end goal. But how crazy is that you guys? I know you all work so hard day in and day out, and if you’re beating yourself up each day until what you want is finished…that is going to be one unhappy project. Maybe even one unhappy life if you keep it up!
Hey, I totally get it. I’m a perfectionist. I can hardly stand to look at paintings I do when they are at their halfway point, I can hardly stand to be halfway done with a hike. Hahah, it’s a work in progress, which is why it makes it that much more important that I celebrate micro-accomplishments. Otherwise, I stress myself out, and I become a real drag to people around me.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. -Oprah
Think about a project you’re in the middle of. It could be a presentation at work, learning to cook new meals, exercising, reading more, telling the people around you that you love them every day, or anything else. Now assess yourself: have you taken the time to be proud of yourself in the midst of whatever it is you’re working on? I once heard that the key to completing ultra-marathons is to split it up into shorter distances in your mind. I often do this with shorter runs, because I’m definitely not doing ultras ha! And I find that it really helps. For example, there’s a hill near my house I like to run up as a short workout. It starts off really steep, mellows out, and then ends really steep. I love this hill because it micro-rewards me automatically: after I run the first
I once heard that the key to completing ultra-marathons is to split it up into shorter distances in your mind. I often do this with shorter runs, because I’m definitely not doing ultras ha! And I find that it really helps. For example, there’s a hill near my house I like to run up as a short workout. It starts off really steep, mellows out, and then ends really steep. I love this hill because it micro-rewards me automatically: after I run the first steep without stopping, it rewards me with 50 yards of flat trail to catch my breath, then after completing the 2nd steep part, I’m ultimately rewarded with an amazing view of the mountains.
These in-between rewards give me the motivation I need to continue on to the bigger goal, and I’m willing to bet they will with you too. So take any project you are in the middle of right now and think of an accomplishment you forgot to celebrate, grab your friend or significant other, and tell them you’re going to celebrate. Grab a slice of pizza, go buy pretty candles, have a movie night. Celebrate without guilt, you deserve it!
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028: A Motivating Mindset from Hiking a 5-Month Trail | JULIE MCCLOSKEY
Summary::
Shortly before I moved to Jackson Hole, I had a meetup with a friend in NYC. As the day went on, and a few drinks were had…she confirmed she, too, would move out west. Seriously. Now, I’ve tried to talk a lot of people into moving various places with me, but have never run across someone that agreed, much less someone who agreed immediately. This should lay a bit of groundwork into Julie’s mindset and lifestyle. She jumps wholeheartedly into things without looking back or rethinking it.
Perfectly characterizing her traits was her last adventure: hiking the complete Pacific Crest Trail. This is approximately a 5-month journey that takes you from Mexico to Canada through Cali, Oregon, & Washington terrain. On this episode, she talks about everything from enjoying huge milestones, like walking 2,659 miles (plus some), all the way down to the simple joy of finding some “trail magic” in the form of a “Shasta Cola” along the way as a treat.
“When you know you’re meant to do something, you will get it done. It does not matter the time frame.”
Julie discusses the mindset it takes to accomplish this Trail and how she was able to maintain a positive attitude throughout it all.
“You have to keep a clear mind or else the stress and the doubts will drive you crazy. You just really have to master your own mind and you need to be able to dismiss those doubts and those fears and those negative thoughts. Mindset was everything to me.”
So, if you are an avid adventurer, or impressed by someone willing to take on such a challenge, you’ll really enjoy this perspective and episode.
“Once you follow your dreams and live your life with passion, it’s going to rub off on everyone around yo, it’s going to rub off on strangers, it’s going to impact the whole world, it will just keep going.”
Links + Items mentioned::
Questions I ask::
- How do you develop a mindset to stay positive for such a long hike?
- What changes did this hike create in yourself?
- How did loneliness play a factor?
- What was the best day of all 5 months?
Takeaways from this episode::
- How to stay motivated over an extended period of time.
- Being open to the entire process of a day, new project, etc.
- Benefits you can draw from boredom and loneliness.
- The power of getting rid of excess clutter in life.
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027: But, How do I find my Passion?
Summary::
Follow your Passion.
Find your passion.
Only do what you’re passionate about!
Too cliche? Maybe. I know I read mixed reviews about “Passion.” One article will tell me it’s all you need, while the next will tell you to quit searching ‘cuz you’re wasting time!
If you’ve ever struggled to find or live out your passion, listen in as we explore this and dive into this quote: “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Les Brown
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026: A True Story of the Journey from Prostitute to Princess | THIP
Summary::
Today’s episode is the 3rd and final in the installment of interviews from Thailand, and also the most impactful, touching, and emotional. There is no other way to describe Thip than “extraordinary.” And I have no doubts that you will agree after hearing this interview. She was born in Thailand with a hard life right off the bat, as her parents had wanted a boy, not a girl. As she went through life, she continued to encounter struggle after setback, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll find yourself wondering how one person could endure so much. On this interview, Thip is completely open and brutally honest about everything she encountered through life, so this episode is not one to take lightly. You’ll hear her discuss working in the “bar” or “restaurant”, which means Brothel, which the town of Pattaya has no shortage of.
If you find yourself tearing up at this story, join the club, I was a mess. But by the end, you’ll hear about how she, with the help of her faith, is stepping each day into a better life. Currently, Thip is the translator for the women who are attending Shear Love, the hair school I visited in Thailand that helps get women out of prostitution and into a career they are passionate about.
Thip is amazing at speaking English, but, of course, speaks Thai primarily, so I give her so much credit for sitting down to this interview without a prior outline. So join us on this glimpse of life and work in Thailand.
Links + Items mentioned::
Questions I ask::
- How did you find the strength to get through the hard times?
- Why did you decide to forgive your family?
- How do you encourage the girls you are translating for?
Takeaways from this episode::
- Finding strength in the lowest moments of life.
- Loving people even when they don’t deserve it.
- A view of life and work in Thailand.
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025: Why you should add some Flow to your Life
Summary::
Everyone who loves vacationing raise their hands! (Hello, both hands raised.) I’m guessing you’re probably with me!
I believe that the best part of taking a holiday is that no matter where you travel, you’re bound to come back home with a different mindset. Whether it’s an altered perception of the world, a more relaxed attitude, or a wider perspective of what really matters in life, vacations are great places to stop and realign yourself with what you really want.
Recently I was in Asia and although I was tired a lot of the time (traveling halfway around the world is tough! Ha!), I often felt at peace and had more clarity than I’ve had in months.
Why?
Listen to this mini episode as I discuss various ways I like to “go with the flow” sometimes and why you should find some of your own flow, too!
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