038: Is Being Perfect really that Great? • Passion Design Project

Summary::

Is there anyone out there that’s a perfectionist? And if so…how is it helping you?

If you’re thinkin’ mmm maybe, some reason that you might be a perfectionist are as follows:

you’re extremely hard on yourself
your standards are crazy high
you need other people to do things your way and perfectly
there is no room for mistakes
you operate in an all or nothing manner. You’re either the best of don’t do it.
you spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to finish up something so it’s perfect

Now that I’ve started this podcast, I actually am not so fond of it anymore, as too many of those described me! How about you, can you relate to any I mentioned?

First, let me mention, I’m totally on board that it’s important to always give you best and not simply take the easy way out; I think things should always be done to the best of our abilities. I was brought up being praised for doing good and punished for doing badly. I quickly learned that it was way easier to be the best than fall short. I can still see this in myself today, where I will take on so many projects just because I know I can do them well. Or I’ll post something online and wait to be validated by a certain number of likes.

So let’s dive more into this. We know that giving our all is a good practice to get into, but when does this get to be too much. It can honestly be boiled down to when it doesn’t make you happy. It’s not fun to kill yourself while trying to make something perfect. It’s lame to only be excited if you are the best. It’s a waste of time to spend copious amounts of time on something unnecessarily. And it not only annoys but hurts other people when nothing they do is good enough.

Let’s talk on this a bit. If you find yourself trying to not only make yourself perfect but also those around you, please stop. I’ll tell you a secret. No one is interested in your perfection. There. I said it. You’re now free to be imperfect, I have totally given you permission for the rest of your life!!! If you find that no one can do the right thing around you (if they only did this, or if they only got a different job, or if they only had other friends…) think about why it bothers you so much. Are they really doing something bad? Or are they just not doing the exact things you want. Remember, they have their life, you have your life. Release control and turn into a supporter. It isn’t fair or your job to push your perfectionism on other people.

Okay now that we are all supporters, let’s get back to me and you. Let’s think about how releasing some perfection in our lives could benefit us.

relationships thrive because we support instead of criticizing
we are happier with ourselves and our accomplishments
our health improved because we aren’t always stressed out about doing enough
we create things faster because we realize done is better than perfect
we have more time because we allow ourselves to delegate more tasks

So what should we be doing to achieve this healthy balance of doing enough but not going over the top?

First, realize what is healthy and realize what is kinda cray cray. If you need to ask somebody to help, take a humble pill and go ask someone what behaviors you could improve. Someone sorta nice would be a good option.

Next, don’t think of things as either succeeding or failing. You know that phrase fail forward. It means even if you didn’t get the outcome you wished for, you know a heck of a lot more than what you did at the beginning. Learn to enjoy the journey.

Another is to release something before you think it is perfect. Try it. If it’s a podcast like this, I can release it and I’m already onto the next one a few days later – absolutely no reason to freak on getting them all amazingly perfect. If it’s a website, an early release will allow you to get feedback before finishing so you can finish it even better. And so on. And on this note, delegate more tasks and let others complete them without micro-managing – ick!

Another is to start lovin on yourself and others! This is sooooo important; you can read all of those stories online where people talk about how at the end of their life, only their relationships mattered. Well I can’t oppose that because I’m not 100 yet, so I believe them. Value your relationships, guys!!

And lastly, celebrate good times aka your successes. Seriously. My most common celebration is a pastry. It’s 2017 and I’m trying to change that into like a raw dessert or something. We’ll see.

Okay! I hope you’re feeling as refreshed as I am about releasing some of this tension we call perfectionism. I know it’s a bit of a process to change this mode of day-to-day life, but one thing I try to do each day is to recognize what is seriously beneficial and what I can be a bit more relaxed about. Give yourself and others a break and I promise you’ll feel better!

You can find more episodes like this on my website at www.PassionDesignProject.com or subscribe on iTunes to get them delivered to your app. Remember to leave a review and rating if you enjoy these!

I’d love to know what you’d like to hear more of, or any guests you’d like me to have. You can reach me at Haley@PassionDesignProject.com or by finding me on Facebook at Passion Design Project.